7/16/2011 2:57 PM
Ok, well, Lately I have been feeling weird. No not sick weird, just sort of strange. I think it all has to do with me feeling pretty good again after 8 years of feeling like crap. I have been introspective a lot and wondering what I want to do with the rest of my life. It is not that I am unhappy not at all. It is hard to explain. It just sort of feels like as change is coming. Mostly I am just not sure what to do anymore. When I was really sick there was little I could do. Adjusting to feeling good again is weird. Trying to balance things, beginning to have a life again. It is all just strange. Thinking I had MS for 8 years, I adjusted my goals to what I thought I could accomplish realistically. Now, I am not sure what I want to do. I gave up dreams. Now there is a possibility of achieving some of them once again. Do I try? Do I just coast? I am not really a coast person.
I went to an open mic last night. It was fun and everyone is well aware that I miss music and performing. There is one issue with that and that is my memory is not so good anymore. Brain tumor? other? I do not know why but remembering songs is much more difficult. I can overcome that with technology. But is that what I want to do? Part of me screams yes, part of me screams no.
I do not know. It seems I have less answers lately, just more questions.
Copyright ©2011 Victoria Myers